The Wall of Shame
The permanent record.
Every entry is written up in house style and awarded its Bins. Lower is worse. We are told this is unfair; we are told this by hotels.
Bedbugs & Other LivestockPhantom ChargesThe Photos LiedBreakfast CrimesPlumbing HorrorsNoise & NeighboursFront Desk FolliesThe Room That Wasn't
Phantom Charges · ParodyCharged nine pounds daily for a wellness suite that the hotel eventually conceded was aspirationalFront Desk Follies · ParodyThe complaints book is real. It is simply not, at present, available to complainantsBedbugs & Other Livestock · ParodyWe were assured the goose has never entered a bedroom. The goose has entered a bedroomThe Room That Wasn't · ParodyWe had not been overbooked. We had, in the night manager's phrase, been optimistically anticipatedPlumbing Horrors · ParodyThe ceiling did not drip so much as keep timeNoise & Neighbours · ParodyBy the third night we could identify the song from the vibration aloneBreakfast Crimes · ParodyThe croissants were stacked in a pyramid, the traditional shape for food nobody expects to be eatenThe Photos Lied · ParodyNothing here was a lie. Everything here was a photograph taken before the money left
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